3 Jun. 2007

Wendi Deng Murdoch Gives Birth To Alien Monster

Wendi Deng, wife of global media magnate Rupert Murdoch, last night gave birth to a slithering green creature, possibly an alien life-form. It is not yet known who the father is.

According to anonymous sources inside a private New York hospital, Ms. Deng Murdoch and two assistant nurses fainted at the first sight of the creature. The surgeon on duty, an active member of the Christian Coalition, immediately summoned the hospital's 24/7 pastor, Willy Mayhem, who began to perform an exorcism. But the creature leaped from the operating table and escaped down the corridors in the direction of the hospital's administrative offices.

One anonymous senior official the told WDWC that New York Police quickly surrounded the building, and a fleet of heavily-armed black helicopter appeared overhead. But after a frantic 30 minute search, the emergency was abruptly called to a halt. The hospital's CEO, Todd Richmore, emerged at the front gate with the news that he was "seriously considering the creature's generous offer" to buy a controlling stake in the hospital.

NOTE: With only two days remaining before The Monthly's profile of her comes out, it with a mixture of pride and trepidation that I announce yet another Gandhi blog - The Wendi Deng Watchers Club!