21 Apr. 2008

Vote Mickey Mouse Or Die!

In Zimbabwe, voters face a clear choice: Mugabe or Death! Now Hillary Clinton is offering voters the same choice, with adverts featuring Osama Bin Laden. Seriously.

Even hard-core Democrats are sick of Clinton's damaging campaign, and any talk of a Dream Team ticket is long gone. Josh Marshall says it's sad too see how low the Clintons have sunk. Michael Moore says the latest debate was the final straw. He is now endorsing Obama:
I haven't spoken publicly 'til now as to who I would vote for, primarily for two reasons: 1) Who cares?; and 2) I (and most people I know) don't give a rat's ass whose name is on the ballot in November, as long as there's a picture of JFK and FDR riding a donkey at the top of the ballot, and the word "Democratic" next to the candidate's name.

Seriously, I know so many people who don't care if the name under the Big "D" is Dancer, Prancer, Clinton or Blitzen. It can be Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Barry Obama or the Dalai Lama.

Well, that sounded good last year, but over the past two months, the actions and words of Hillary Clinton have gone from being merely disappointing to downright disgusting...

I know some of you will say, 'Mike, what have the Democrats done to deserve our vote?' That's a damn good question. In November of '06, the country loudly sent a message that we wanted the war to end. Yet the Democrats have done nothing. So why should we be so eager to line up happily behind them?

I'll tell you why. Because I can't stand one more friggin' minute of this administration and the permanent, irreversible damage it has done to our people and to this world. I'm almost at the point where I don't care if the Democrats don't have a backbone or a kneebone or a thought in their dizzy little heads. Just as long as their name ain't "Bush" and the word "Republican" is not beside theirs on the ballot, then that's good enough for me.

I, like the majority of Americans, have been pummeled senseless for 8 long years. That's why I will join millions of citizens and stagger into the voting booth come November, like a boxer in the 12th round, all bloodied and bruised with one eye swollen shut, looking for the only thing that matters -- that big "D" on the ballot.

Don't get me wrong. I lost my rose-colored glasses a long time ago.

It's foolish to see the Democrats as anything but a nicer version of a party that exists to do the bidding of the corporate elite in this country.
So what will Mike Moore and other caring Dems do if Hillary's fear machine works (again)? Coincidentally, I just posted this comment over at WP's blog:
From an international p.o.v., if the Dems cannot beat McCain they should all just disband the party and walk away from politics for good. OTOH we foreigners thought the same thing about Dubya... especially the second time... and his "unelectable" former CIA Dad... and Ronnie Hollywood Raygun... (sigh) ...

It might be best if the USA just elected Mickey Mouse as President For Life, and we all just pretend he is real, and Dick Cheney's friends in the Military-Industrial Complex work with the neo-Fascists at Disney Studios to make Mickey say whatever they want said.

Anyone who says "Mickey is not real" will be imprisoned. But when Mickey declares war on Iran, Syria and Jordon simultaneously, nobody will be able to criticize the wisdom of his decision (after all, he is not real - d'uh).

All press conference questions will need to be scripted, so the animators have time to create a response. The State of the Union address will become an animation tour de force, featuring Donald Duck (Rumsfeld's voice), Goofy (GWB), Uncle Scrooge (Cheney), and other loveable characters like Shrek (Powell) and Cinderella (Condi).

VOTE #1 Mickey Mouse GOP 08!

And '12, '16, '20, .... Yay! MICKEY GOP CLUB FOREVER!

NB: US soldiers abroad will wear Mickey Mouse ears on their helmets to make them easily distinguishable from the Bad Guys. It will look great on TV, trust me!
UPDATE: Now Clinton says she would bring Republicans into her cabinet. This looks to me like a desperate, all-out attempt to:

(a) win the nomination, or
(b) permanently fracture the Dems, or
(c) both the above.

You can begin to imagine Hillary losing to Obama then calling for her supporters to get behind McCain.

If Hillary wins, a lot of Obama supporters will quit the party. If she loses, and then Obama loses, she will blame Obama's supporters for the loss (and claim she would have won). I know this is desperation stuff but what Hillary is doing is not easily repairable: she is damaging the Party for her own purposes.

"So what?" you say. The problem I have with that scenario is that Obama doesn't even represent the leftwing grassroots activists in a way that (say) Howard "Yeearrgghh!" Dean once did. If Hillary splits the Dems like this, she is really only taking a big slice out of the Dem's left wing and dumping it on the roadside. Maybe those bitter losers might end up (ruefully) supporting outcasts like Kucinich, Gravel, and Ron Paul. But as a serious political force, in the short term, they would become irrelevant. That ensures that Big Business regains control of the White House, which seems to be all that really matters to Clinton right now.