R.I.P

John Winston Howard: A timeline from MY ABC.

Phillip Adams pens a short history of Howard's racism.

And Steve Biddulph charts Howard's legacy:

The issue of the future, coming down on us now like a steam train, is of course the environment, the double hammer blows of climate change and peak oil. Energy, weather and human misery are the factors that will define our lives for decades to come. You can cancel your newspaper, those are the only four words you need to know.

Linked to this, but compounding it in frightening ways, is the imminent demise of the United States economy. In fact the whisper, the subplot in economist circles, was that this election was one to lose. That whoever inherited Australia in 2007 inherited a coming economic collapse in globalised trade that would suck Australia and much of the rest of the world down with it. For two years now the best predictions have been that the subprime meltdown would act as merely the detonator of a much larger explosive charge created long ago by US consumer debt, concealed by Chinese and Arab investment in keeping that great hungry maw that is America sucking in what it could not begin to pay for. The avalanche-like fall of US house prices will be closely followed by the same in linked economies worldwide, and presage a harsh and very different world than the one we have lived in. In short, the party is over. We are a civilisation in collapse...

By 2014, we will have a struggle between a new left and right - Labor and Green - and the issue will be simply how green, how to balance the need for a much simpler and more communal kind of life, with the need to give people comfort and amenity now. This issue will continue to define life for the rest of this century.

Climate change will bring horrific costs this century unless a global effort is rallied in a way that has never been done before to regulate our gluttonous use of the air and water. Perhaps a billion lives are at risk, let alone 2 to 3 billion refugees, as agriculture and water supplies collapse across southern Asia and elsewhere, and producer countries, like Australia, find they can barely feed themselves.

The big lie of Liberal supremacy was economic management. In fact, they knew how to generate income, but not how to spend it. We could have been building what Europe built in this past decade - superb hospitals, bullet trains, schools and training centres, low cost public transport of luxurious quality, magnificent public housing. We pissed it all away on tax giveaways and consumer goods. On bloated homes that we will not be able to cool or heat, or sell, and cars we won't be able to afford to drive. A party based on self interest may evaporate along with our rivers and lakes, and have no role to play in a world where we co-operate or die.

Coda

I just want to close off this blog with a fitting final word. As The Independent notes:

Howard's defeat in Australia is undoubtedly part of the slow unwinding of the failed worldview that was the mistaken response to the horror of 9/11.

Of course, Howard's loss was not directly due to the Iraq War: like Bush and Blair, he won re-election even after the failings of the illegal invasion were widely known.

But consider this: like Blair's Labor party, Howard's Liberal coalition has been almost thoroughly decimated by his decision to remain in power so long. The same goes for Bush's GOP: his second term has been an unending nightmare in the polls. Meanwhile the even greater nightmare of Iraq drags on with an abandoned and discredited USA not even pretending to posit an exit strategy any more.

All three men, Bush, Blair and Howard, leave their parties a shambles. All three have virtually destroyed their own political legacies.

One can only hope that a lesson has been learned, and that no leader of a democratic country will ever pursue such reckless madness again.

Meanwhile, Australia has finally joined the 21st Century. It will be strange to see Prime Minister Kevin Rudd representing Australia in Bali next month, and not have to cringe and feel ashamed of my country. As Juan Cole says:

Hey, I want a government in the US that looks like this-- pro labor, against foreign military adventures, afraid of global warming, the leader speaks an Asia language, and a rock star is on the team.

Kevin Rudd seems like a decent man, but he does seem to have a slightly authoritarian mindset, which makes the comparisons with Tony Blair a little scary. He won't be perfect, but hopefully he will move us steadily in the right direction.

As I say, we can only hope the lesson has been learned. And not just by Kevin Rudd, but by all of us.

Cheers, folks.

Gandhi's War

Well, that's it folks. No more blogging for me. I am now working on a book, tentatively titled "Gandhi's War". Here are a few short extracts from the first draft:

If we tolerate the crimes and lies of our elected representatives, then what have we become? If the truth does not matter, then reality does not matter, and our lives are meaningless. If we allow great lies to go unchallenged, even if only for the sake of preserving the status quo, then we corrupt not only the fabric of our societies, but also the purity of our souls.

Do we really believe that by re-writing the history books we can re-write the past? If the laws which govern this reality we inhabit are deemed to be of no consequence, then we have gone beyond absurdity into nihilistic despair.

History suggests that the people with the courage and willpower to loudly oppose great powers have often suffered much in their own lifetimes. A cynic might suggest that these people’s struggle is therefore a selfish one. But there is nothing selfish about sacrificing your time, your energy, your career, your finances, your family unity and even your sanity, all for the sake of an intangible vision of truth.

The truly selfish are those who embrace such corrupt systems, who exploit inequalities for their own benefit, who shrug and say, “We all know it is wrong, but there is nothing we can do to change it, so we might as well accept it.” Ultimately, in every country and throughout history, these are the people who have granted power to those who abuse it.

* * * *

My sister died of cancer three months before George W. Bush was first elected President of the United States of America. B. was just thirty-four years of age. She left behind two baby boys, aged two and three. Her stomach, so recently pregnant, now swelled up again. But this time it became as hard as plastic. There was nothing the doctors could do for her, except proscribe massive doses of morphine for the pain.

Four year's later, while George W. Bush was battling for re-election, my father was also diagnosed with cancer. A cocky young surgeon at the government-run Gold Coast Hospital sent Dad home prematurely, telling him the cancer was inoperable:

“If the pain gets too bad,” he said, “Take paracetamol.”

Three days later, Dad was rushed back to hospital in great pain. Doctors diagnosed Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, a curable form of cancer. Dad started chemotherapy, but it was already too late. His stomach swelled up even larger than B’s. The cancer cells moved up through the fluid in his spinal column, then began attacking his brain.

While Dad was battling cancer, my wife and I were going through the rituals of pregnancy. Dad became terminally bed-ridden just a month before our baby was due. I used to lie awake at night wondering what I would do if I were simultaneously summoned to level 9 of the hospital for my father's death, and level 2 for my baby's arrival. Should I abandon my father on his deathbed, or abandon my wife and baby in the delivery room?

Fortunately, I never had to make that choice. Dad's long agony ended one warm summer night, while the stars twinkled silently over the sea outside his window.

On the far side of the planet, a quarter of a million Iraqis were already dead. George W. Bush was celebrating his second election victory.

Aisha arrived eleven days late, just a few weeks after Dad died. Her name means "to live". She was born with her eyes open, cautiously examining the operating theater while a nurse the wiped blood from her face.


* * * *


I had always kept my blogging identity secret. It started out as a bit of a laugh, picking odd pseudonyms for online chats. But then one day I started thinking that the best way to end the war in Iraq might be to convert supporters one by one. Soon I found myself locked into endless arguments with unbelievably stupid people, who seemed to lack the imagination, the intelligence, or maybe the willpower to understand what I was trying to say.

I adopted the online name “gandhi” as a quick way to broadcast my pacifist anti-war attitudes. The wingnuts all thought the Mahatma was nuts, of course, but at least they knew what he stood for.

You bathe in your own urine, you peacenick dickfuck. Why should I listen to you?

Back in those days, when Bush was still popular, the pro-war bloggers were extremely aggressive. They called me every name under the sun. They trawled my website searching for personal information to use against me. They even threatened violence against my family.

Some of them were just complete psychos. They routinely ignored facts and turned reality on its head. One guy wrote a poem about me:

Who can take a blog post
Sprinkle it with joos?
Cover it in bullshit
And a homonim or two
The Ghandi Man
The Ghandi Man can
The Ghandi Man can
Cause he mixes it with hate
And makes the kool aid taste good

Who can take tomorrow
Dip it in a scream?
Multiply the sorrows
And collect up all the cream
The Ghandi Man
The Ghandi Man can
The Ghandi Man can
The Ghandi Man can
Cause he mixes it with hate
And makes the kool aid taste good
And the kool aid tastes good

The worst ones were the soldiers serving in Iraq, or people who said they were their friends or family of soldiers serving in Iraq. These jerks argued that anything any non-Army person said was necessarily ill-informed and therefore bullshit. They loved citing the latest troop movements on the ground, or throwing around the code names of the various squadrons and their top-secret missions, as if that proved that their every utterance was truth. One soldier even sent me a photo of a couple of Iraqi kids holding up a sign:

“Get a life, Gandhi, or come to Iraq.”

The real Mahatma Gandhi once said: "First they laugh at you, then they hate you, then you win.”

At this stage, the wingnuts were moving from the first phase to the second. If they couldn’t smother you with ridicule, or contradict you with media-supported lies, or somehow dilute your words with their Bizzarro World logic, then they just called you a “troll” and banned you from their Web site altogether. I was proud to have been banned from half a dozen top-rated sites.

The book is based on my blogging experiences here and at BushOut. It explores the human cost of blogging news that is relentlessly depressing. I know I am not the only one who has suffered these "bloggers blues", and I think it's a story that should be told.

If anyone wants to contribute their own stories, or knows a good publisher, please email me: gazo a@t dodo dot com dot AU.

For Sale

Sounds good:

* Includes a $200 000 set of executive chairs (not from IKEA!)
* Plans for $500 000+ renovation of the dining room to re-enact the predicted last supper
* Uses 28 times more water than the average Sydney household – one of few properties that can be credited for creating its own mini-drought
* Current occupant considering a move even if a new lease is signed
* A million dollar garden ($1 118 000 million over 6 years) with no worms (well not the kind that gets turned of mid-debate during 60 minutes)
* Recently received a $386 500 security upgrade that unfortunately doesn’t stop fireball wielding psychos
* Price negotiable just like your Work Choices employment contract… NOT

What Can He Do? Hmmnnn....

What can you say?

Mr Howard was visibly frustrated after being asked about the leaflets a number of times.

"What more can I do?" he said.

"I've condemned it, I've dissociated myself from it, I think it is stupid, it's offensive, it's wrong, it's untrue, I mean for heaven's sake get a sense of proportion."

Mr Howard said the election campaign had not been dirty.

"There have been some silly things going on, we have talked about one a bit and there have been a few silly things said elsewhere on the other side, but overall it has not been a dirty campaign."

Mr Howard rejected suggestion the bogus campaign leaflet issue reflected racism in the Liberal Party.

"I do not think that what has happened in the past couple of days in Lindsay could be evidence at all of some underlying racism in my party," he said.

Dump. The. Candidate.

Ein Reich. Ein Fuhrer. Eine Leute.

Howard speaks to the lizard brains:

"We no longer have perpetual seminars about our national identity. We no longer agonise as to whether we're Asian or European or part-Asian or part-European or too British or not British enough or too close to the Americans or whatever. We actually rejoice in what has always been the reality and that is that we are gloriously and distinctively Australian."

Of all the Orwellian nightmare agonies the Howard government has brought us, this "we are Australian" meme is one of the most consistently irritating. It's also one of the most potentially dangerous, as the Cronulla riots showed.

Sorry, John - but this is not your country any more. It's mine.

Closing In On Kabul

Meanwhile, in that other very important war:

The conflict in Afghanistan has reached "crisis proportions", with the resurgent Taliban present in more than half the country and closing in on Kabul, a report says.

Now, NATO only really controls Kabul, and only ever really has. And the famous Coalition of the Willing is pretty thin on the ground these days. And this will be a guerrilla war through the streets. Do we Aussies really, really want to be there?

Tis is another extraordinary failure of diplomacy and foresight. All the money wasted in Iraq could have been spent on building new roads, schools and other facilities for the people of Afghanistan. That country would now be a beacon of hope to the Middle East, a shining example of Western values.

But of course, those "values" never existed anyway, except in a dream that died long ago.

Senlis said its research had established that the Taliban, driven out of Afghanistan by the US invasion in late 2001, had rebuilt a permanent presence in 54 per cent of the country and was finding it easy to recruit new followers.

It was also increasingly using Iraq-style tactics, such as roadside and suicide bombs, to powerful effect, and had built a stable network of financial support, funding its operations with the proceeds from Afghanistan's booming opium trade.

"It is a sad indictment of the current state of Afghanistan that the question now appears to be not if the Taliban will return to Kabul, but when," the report said.

"Their oft-stated aim of reaching the city in 2008 appears more viable than ever."

NATO has a little over 40,000 troops operating in Afghanistan as part of the International Security Assistance Force. The United States and Britain are the largest contributors, with 15,000 and 7,700 soldiers, respectively.

Those numbers pale in comparison to Iraq where at the peak of operations there were nearly 200,000 troops on the ground and where around 160,000 remain.

There are around 970 Australian troops serving in Afghanistan.

Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going?

"I am very proud of the fact that we are now spending 47 per cent more in real terms on our defence forces."

That was John Howard today, reflecting on his 11 years in power. Yeah, that's called "the defence of Australia", what we are doing in Afghanistan and Iraq. Tell that to the kids in those countries, John.

Hey, Schmuck!

Guess who is going to be footing the bill for the US sub-prime crisis? Now sit back and watch while the banks which created the problem with irresponsible lending start repossessing houses.

Coalition "Values" On Display

In all the hype about the latest Coalition smear campaign, not many people have notices that the last one died a very quiet death:

The Herald Sun last night confirmed the Liberal Party claims were based on scouring websites, and did not involve any checks or phone calls to the respective boards, authorities and agencies involved.

This is classic Karl Rove tactics: the big smear, followed by the quiet retraction. You can bet there are people who think the latest smear will also work out in the Coalition's favor, bringing racist issues to the fore at just the right time for their "Base" top hear the dog whistle.

If you are in on the sense of humor, that sort of thing is just hilarious. More decent people would think it's about as funny as Caroline Overington's warped attempts at media seduction.

Howard says he doesn't want to be associated with this. But obviously, as leader of the Coalition, and as the man whose own lack of ministerial accountability has set the benchmark for such "values", he is right at the very heart of it.

Bastards, one and all.

Wanker Of The Day

The GG's Greg Sheridan gives up the election for lost and goes back to fighting the culture wars:

I predict that the Robert Manne-Left, the political force in this country most inclined to misrepresent facts and do them violence by shoe-horning them into a predetermined ideological cast, will try to take possession of the Howard loss. The Left has long understood that controlling the past is a key to controlling the future. They will argue that the Howard defeat marks the repudiation of the Howard Government's lies on Iraq, racism on Aborigines, hostility to multiculturalism, construction of a national security state, un-Australian subservience to Washington, hostility to Muslims and so on. In fact, this is almost wholly untrue, as Rudd's embrace of the Government's position on almost all this stuff indicates...

Greg's probably wishing he applied for that job at Quadrant. What's he going to do now? Ghost-write the JHo autobiography: "I Did It Bush's Way"?

Sheridan devotes much of his article to pimping Tony Abbott's chances for the post-election leadership shitfight:

In opposition, Peter Costello will inherit the Liberal leadership. Abbott is the natural choice as his deputy...recent history does show us that a new government, led by a party long in opposition, can be vulnerable after one term... So the Liberals might have an outside chance in three years' time.

Yes Folks! ABBOTT AND COSTELLO IN 2010!!! What a vision for the future! And what a fitting epitaph for the Howard Conga Line Cabinet.

Two More Sleeps, Two Final Sprays

Bob Hawke today launches a massive final spray at JHo, as does News Ltd's Tim Dunlop.

Hawke attempts to demolish three myths: the union bogeyman myth, the myth of Howard's economic capabilities, and (very briefly) the myth that the Iraq War and GWOT make us safer. He is at his best on the second point:

Who, as treasurer, had responsibility for economic management for more than five years before I was elected on March 5, 1983? John Winston Howard. I knew that he was handing me the worst legacy in terms of unemployment and inflation in Australia's history; both were at 11%. But I didn't know exactly how bad the projected budget deficit was, because he had refused to come clean on this during the campaign.

On Sunday, March 5, I called in the secretary of the Treasury, John Stone, who told me that the projected figure for 1983-4 was $9.6 billion, the largest in our history; equivalent today as a percentage of GDP to more than $40 billion. Stone pointed out that "the budget balance is projected to deteriorate from near zero to more than 6% of GDP in a two-year period. The speed and magnitude of that deterioration is almost without precedent among the major OECD countries in the postwar period". Stone was no Labor stooge — he went on to become a Nationals senator — and his written judgement was that Howard's performance was virtually the worst anywhere in the developed world since 1945.

Dunlop covers a whole host of issues, including WorkChoices, Iraq, interest rates, Aboriginal reconciliation, pork-barrelling, Health and the presumed handover to $mirky.

I have to say that Tim has put in a lot of good, hard work at Blogocracy and hopefully he has won over a few voters with his hard-hitting and well-supported analysis. It remains unfortunate that he has allowed his criticism of the Murdoch stable to be muzzled, and in that sense he reminds me a lot of Peter Garrett. Will it have been worth it, after all, when and if JHo get's his come-uppance? Let's just note that Rupert Murdoch has never lost an election, News Ltd continues raking in massive profits, and media reform is not on the Rudd agenda. I hope Tim will have something more to say about that after Saturday.

UPDATE: Well, whaddaya know? Labor says media reform is on the agenda, well... sorta:

Labor is expected to reveal details of its media policy today, including its stance on the definition of Channels A and B, the niche datacasting and mobile spectrum to be auctioned off next year, and the possible introduction of a children's ABC channel.

Senator Conroy flagged Labor will have a firm switch-off date in the move from analogue to digital television. Following the switch-off, he said the analogue spectrum could be used for the fourth licence to enhance competition - a move long coveted by Rupert Murdoch, who has indicated he'd like to expand into free-to-air television in Australia.

"This is not about keeping Murdoch happy," Senator Conroy said. "This is about diversity."

Don't hold your breath waiting for the magic laws of market attrition to smite down the GG staffers...

Hell On Earth

Welcome to Fallujah:

The city that was routed in November 2004 is still suffering the worst humanitarian conditions under a siege that continues. Although military actions are down to the minimum inside the city, local and US authorities do not seem to be thinking of ending the agonies of the over 400,000 residents of Fallujah.

"You, people of the media, say things in Fallujah are good," Mohammad Sammy, an aid worker for the Iraqi Red Crescent in Fallujah, told Inter Press Service (IPS). "Then why don't you come and live in this paradise with us? It is so easy to say things for you, isn't it?"

His anger is due to the fact that the embattled city is still completely closed and surrounded by military checkpoints... Since the November 2004 US-led attack on the city, named Operation Phantom Fury, which left approximately 70% of the city destroyed, the US military has required residents to undergo retina scans and finger-printing to gain a bar-code for identification...

All of the residents interviewed by IPS were extremely angry with the media for recent reports that the situation in the city is good. Many refused to be quoted for different reasons.

"Fallujah is probably the city that has had the most media coverage in the history of the occupation," Hatam Jawad, a school headmaster in Fallujah, told IPS. "People are tired of shouting and appearing on TV to complain, without feeling any change in their sorrowful living situation. Some of them are afraid of police revenge for telling the truth."

Many residents told IPS that US-backed Iraqi police and army personnel have detained people who have spoken to the media.

"I am not going to tell you whether it is good or bad to be a Fallujah resident," 55-year-old lawyer, Shakir Naji, told IPS. "Why don't you just ask what the prices of essential materials are and judge for yourself?"

As I've said before, Iraq is a war of SPIN, and Falluja is stranded on the Front Line.

But what is the plan here? The longer this injustice persists, the more the occupiers are hated, the worse conditions get, the more spin is needed.... Where does it end?

Teh Five Point Plan

I, John Winston Howard, do hereby promise that if re-elected I will:

1. Work out how to blame Labor for the coming global recession.

2. Keep inflaming Muslim radicals around the globe. Hang tight with Pervez and El Busho Loco. Pretend it makes sense.

3. Don't forget, um... What was it? Oh yeah - election promises!

4. Pour $10 billion into the Murray-Darling. See what happens.

5. Be nice to, err... what is it they call them these days, Janet? Oh, yes: the indigenes.

Implosion Week Day Three: Vaile Blames Big Business

BWAAAHHHH!!!:

"Probably more so than in the past, the business community has gone out and supported the important reforms that they also believe are important for the economy. We would have liked to have seen them spend a lot more, but that is not up to us, it's up to them."

Yes, folks: apparently the $280 million taxpayer-funded advertising blitz just wasn't quite enough! Cue the Bizarro World music...

"We, as the coalition, have no hope of matching the money the Labor Party and the union movement have poured into this campaign, and not just in the last six weeks, going back over the last 12 or 18 months."

My Wiener Is This Big

Time for another caption contest! This pic comes from the ABC story on Tampa 2.0, which is playing out quite differently to Tampa 1.0.

A few caption suggestions to warm you up:

1. "It's only a teeny, weeny little boat. So we'll only need to lock them up in Nauru for a little while..."

2. "Look, we are this close to victory on Saturday, so don't expect me to comment."

3. "They were this close to throwing their childen in the water, I swear... "

The Post-Howard Recession Looms

Even Deutsche Bank is tipping a 50% chance of global recession, with a 33% chance of a major one. Here's the question you have to ask yourself: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?

Whatever happened to all the supposedly wise economic management of people like the IMF, the World Bank, the Federal Reserve? Why didn't our government and our financial experts see this coming a very long time ago, as people like Mike Whitney clearly did.

Why did Big Business around the globe leap to support President Bush's morally bankrupt policies, which ultimately will bankrupt others (while he and his friends cash in)?

Why were all these people complicit in silence? And why is it that they will all be whistling towards the recession with very fat bank balances indeed?

Looks like we Aussies will now get a Rudd government, who will inevitably be blamed for increasing interest rates and/or inflation and/or unemployment and/or oil prices and/or anything else that is convenient. But the dynamics for such change are already in place: Rudd is just going to have to surf the wave.

I'm not looking forward to the election after this one. Right-wingers get rather feral when the money gets tight.

Does USA Control Pakistan's Nukes?

Pakistan's Daily Times recently reported on US neocon plans to attack Pakistan. The idea was to secure or destroy Pakistan's nuclear weaponry. Get a load of this Boy's Own nonsense:

Possible plan: One possible plan would be a Special Forces operation with the limited goal of preventing Pakistan’s nuclear materials and warheads from getting into the wrong hands. Given the degree to which Pakistani nationalists cherish these assets, it is unlikely the United States would get permission to destroy them. Somehow, American forces would have to team with Pakistanis to secure critical sites and possibly to move the material to a safer place. For the United States, the safest bet would be shipping the material to someplace like New Mexico, but even pro-American Pakistanis would be unlikely to cooperate. It would be better for the US to settle for establishing a remote redoubt within Pakistan, with the nuclear technology guarded by elite Pakistani forces backed up and watched over by crack international troops. It is realistic to think that such a mission might be undertaken within days of a decision to act. The price for rapid action and secrecy, however, would probably be a very small international coalition.

Looks like the USA might not need to bother invading. Today, as the Times of India gleefully reports, it seems the USA already controls Pakistan's nukes!

Pakistan's nuclear weapons are already under American control even as analysts are working themselves into a lather on the subject, a well-regarded intelligence journal has said.

In a stunning disclosure certain to stir up things in Washington's (and in Islamabad and New Delhi's) strategic community, the journal Stratfor reported on Monday that the "United States delivered a very clear ultimatum to Musharraf in the wake of 9/11: Unless Pakistan allowed US forces to take control of Pakistani nuclear facilities, the United States would be left with no choice but to destroy those facilities, possibly with India's help."

"This was a fait accompli that Musharraf, for credibility reasons, had every reason to cover up and pretend never happened, and Washington was fully willing to keep things quiet," the journal, which is widely read among the intelligence community, said.

The Stratfor commentary came in response to an earlier New York Times story that reported that the Bush administration had spent around $100 million to help Pakistan safeguard its nuclear weapons, but left it unclear if Washington has a handle on the arsenal.

I wonder what the poor US grunts guarding the nukes are thinking? There they are in a country of 161,488,000 people, many of whom will understandably be enraged by this news. Over to you, President Musharraf...

Does he admit the US controls his nukes? He is already desperately unpopular, and surely that would trigger riots? OTOH many educated Pakistanis would probably be glad to know he doesn't have his finger on the nuclear trigger...

Interesting times.

Shut Up, Tony

Hopefully this is the last of Tony Abbot's Fairfax Op-Eds:

A credible would-be prime minister should be game for an interview on the Insiders as well as Rove.

But Howard wouldn't even go on Rove, Tony.

Abbott says Rudd will be as bad as the Iemma government, ignoring the fact that (in the opinion of NSW voters, anyway) the Liberal alternative is much worse. The same goes for every other State opposition. Rudd should be hammering this point - the only reason there are Labor governments across the States is because the Liberal alternative is so pathetic.

Something unprecedented will happen on Saturday. A highly effective government will lose despite generally good economic circumstances or 12 months of opinion polls will turn out to be wrong. Australians are not reckless gamblers...

Err, you haven't seen the profit sheets for Aristocrat gaming machines, have you Tony?

... at least not with the future of their country...

Gotcha!

... so I think it's much more likely voters will prove the polls wrong than change the government.

In other words, lets all just close our eyes, click our heels, and wish really, really hard for another three years of Howard.

Wall-to-wall Labor governments are much more likely to cover up for each other. It's not good for democracy to have one party in power everywhere.

As opposed to John Howard's "L'Etat, C'est Moi" attitude to secretive and unaccountable Federal government? Puh-lease!

Bye Bye John

Did anyone see Howard's face in the closing moments of last night's 7.30 Report?

KERRY O'BRIEN: It's funny that the life of this program, and your time as Prime Minister, has almost exactly coincided. We're both about the same age. I must have interviewed you...

JOHN HOWARD: You're not thinking of retiring, are you, Kerry?

KERRY O'BRIEN: I'm saying the program and your time in office. I must have interviewed you about 70 or 80 times as Prime Minister. It's an odd feeling, I must say, to contemplate the possibility that this could be our last, but if this turns out to be the case, thank you sincerely for making yourself available as often as you have even in some of the tougher moments.

JOHN HOWARD: Well I believe in the accountability of public figures in the serious media and even though...

KERRY O'BRIEN: Doesn't mean you've always answered the questions.

JOHN HOWARD: Well I have a focus. My focus is winning the election. You'll understand that.

KERRY O'BRIEN: Mr Howard, thank you very much for joining us tonight.

JOHN HOWARD: Thank you.

Gob-smacked.

Iraqi Government Seizes US Hostages

The puppet stooges who make up the (ahem!) "sovereign" Iraqi government have long been gnawing at the strings that hold them aloft. Now they have seized 31 hostages, including two US citizens. The hostages will only be released when the US government cedes additional power to the stooges.

Ever little bit helps... This is how the game is played, and the Iraqis are very good at it. Most people in Washington still haven't figured out what's going on, and the rest can't do anything about it anyway.

Hey, Yanqui! You want an Oil Law? First give me a few million dollars for all my cousins. What? We had a deal? I think you misunderstood me.

No wait, that's not what the story said, is it? No, no, I must be completely wrong.

Apologies.

OY!

This is what real, progressive Democracy looks like.

(link fixed)

Turnbull Gave Up Early, Cashed In

This is a MUST READ from the cursed leftists at ABC News:

"I think the conclusion was, and I might even quote that it said: 'There is no evidence to show that the technology does not work'," Professor Fletcher told The 7.30 Report.

"Now that's a little bit negative. So I don't know. I thought that that was - inconclusive is about where I'd put it."

Rainmaker Ian Searle, the father of cloud seeding in Australia for the Tasmanian Hydro scheme, has also expressed doubts, as has Israel's internationally respected cloud physicist Professor Daniel Rosenfeld.

"There is no single scientific paper, only the patent, and one can patent anything claiming it's to do anything that he likes, as long as no one else has made the same claims before," Professor Rosenfeld said.

Please go read the whole thing. It's damning.

Howard: "I Like Pervez As A Bloke"

Here's Howard in June 2005:

"I've told the president how much I personally and the Australian government admires his courageous participation and that of his country in the fight against terrorism."

And here's Howard today:

"I like General Musharraf, I think he's been very courageous... I do admire his courage in holding a very difficult balance in a country that has never been easy with democracy.

QUESTION: When is a military dictator not a military dictator?
ANSWER: When he's a military dictator with an atomic bomb.

Which brings us to Iran. Is Howard urging the USA not to bomb Tehran? No. Why not?

"I haven't had any cause to do so because nothing in discussions I've had with President Bush suggests the Americans are doing anything but trying diplomacy, and naturally when you are trying diplomacy you don't take anything off the table," he said.

Well, actually, you DO take things off the table when you want results. Even Doc Holliday kept his gun in his pants when he went into the saloon.

Teh Horror!

Evil! Evil! Evil!

O.J. Simpson is still relentlessly searching for the man who killed his wife. Tony Blair is still desperately searching for peace in the Middle East. And John Howard is desperately committed to saving Australians from the evil menace of Kevin Rudd:

"My every waking hour and every available minute will be to drive home the risk of Labor."

The funny thing is, all the horrible dangers that Old Uncle Johnny warns about sound just fine to me.

Green balance of power? Tick. WorkChoices rolled back and never to return? Tick. Education reform? Tick. A fresh approach to failing drug policies? Tick.

What's going on? Obviously, I must myself be a part of the great evil which threatens to consume our nation.

I must myself be evil. I must be dangerous. I must be a very bad man.

So there is your choice, Australia - vote Labor and you are bad. Vote Howard and you are good. It's that simple.

PS: You'll never geuss where I found that image. BWAAAHAHA HA!! See, I am very evil.

What about civil liberties of kidnappers?

Gerard Henderson is pissed at the judge who found that two ASIO officers kidnapped Izhar ul-Haque and falsely imprisoned him. Hendo says we should leave it all in the hands of ASIO and our beloved Attorney-General.

Hendo omits to mention that LET, a group dedicated to ousting Indian forces from the disputed territory of Kashmir, was not outlawed as a terrorist group in Australia at the time.

Hendo says "there is no evidence that he [ul-Haque] has denied the training" with LET. Indeed! The fact is, ul-Haque returned from his 3-week course, handed over his documents to Australian authorities, and "told them everything"!

Ul-Haque was only ever under investigation because an associate of his, Faheem Lodhi, was suspected of planning a terrorist attack in Sydney. And what ASIO was really trying to do was TERRORIZE ul-Haque into becoming an informant. And like it or not, there are laws against that sort of thing!

What Hendo is really arguing is that the Law should be tossed aside in any such terrorism cases. He ridicules suggestions that Australia might be "going the way of Pakistan". But if the police, ASIO, the government and the judges all abandon the rule of Law, as Hendo advocates, where does he think we are heading? Berlin 1939?

Jesus wept.

Rudd To The Left Of Me, Malcolm To My Right

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you:

In a sign of solidarity Mr Howard appeared with Mr Costello in a television interview for the first time in 11 years and insisted to channel Seven's Today Tonight the Treasurer will be elected unopposed to eventually replace him.

So Costello has finally been properly endorsed by Howard (no more of this "Party will decide" crap). But that's only because they are now so desperate to end the in-fighting and speculation that Turnbull's camp is generating.

And that's supposed to encourage voters?

Meanwhile, just so you all know how dangerously rightwing Malcolm Turnbull is, here's a new scandal to rock your socks.

One of Rupert Murdoch's nephews is closely involved in a company called Australian Rain Corporation (ARC), which is a big donor to Turnbull's fundraising group. And Turnbull has just given them a $10 million grant, ostensibly for further research into their unproven technology.

The technology involves sending electrical charges into the atmosphere to make clouds, and ultimately rain...

A report on the technology prepared for the government, and delivered in August, found the ARC had provided "no convincing data" to support the technology.

The report, prepared by the former head of the CSIRO Office of Space Science, Ken McCracken, and University of New England Emeritus Professor of Physics Neville Fletcher, recommended a trial only go ahead after more scientific work on the proposal and if it could be done "at no great expense".

At no great expense to whom, that's the question! The shareholders in Switzerland will be happy!

The big question today is why on earth environmental scientist Dr Tim Flannery has endorsed Turnbull - is he getting some funding approved too?

PS:Here's how Howard explained Costello's appeal to voters:

"He's not me."

And after refusing the opportunity to face Rove McManus's "who would you turn gay for?" question, Howard told Today Tonight it would not be Cossie:

The pair agreed that their relationship was like a marriage, apart from the "certain other attractions" of a real marriage.

"It's a pretty good marriage, it's lasted a long time," Mr Howard said, adding the pair were "very much" mates.

"I like Peter as a bloke," he said.

Just so you know.

Seriously, today was the day when Howard had to DO SOMETHING. And this is it, this is all he's got. He's finished, surely. And Turnbull is busy preparing his post-election coup while Cossie sits grinning at the bright lights.

The latest Newspoll is just out and guess what? Nothing has changed: Australians locked in their answers six months ago.

But here's a scary thought to keep you awake:

PETER Costello might find himself prime minister much earlier than anticipated.

It would be an Australian political first - if the current strong swing in NSW saw John Howard lose the seat of Bennelong, but because of uneven swings between the states, Labor didn't make it across the line.

OTOH Turnbull might somehow win his own seat and then be poised to grab the Lodge! Who are YOU voting for? Do you even know?

Howard's Australia: The Stingiest Country On Earth

Somebody should have told Brisbane's Lord Mayor Campbell Newman (the most senior Liberal in the country, if the Coalition loses on Saturday) that Sir Bob Geldoff really, really doesn't like Mondays.

Newman today appointed Geldof an honorary ambassador for Brisbane. But Geldof used the occasion to slam Howard's stingy foreign aid budget:

Sir Bob said Australia's contribution did not match that of other developed countries.

"It's embarrassingly pathetic. In fact, it's one of the meanest in the planet," Sir Bob said.

"For a country that keeps boasting about its huge growth, which is absolutely correct, you should boast and be proud of it, (but) is 99.5 per cent not enough for you?

"And not only that, it's way behind the rest of the developed world."

Sir Bob said Australia had agreed to reach a commitment of 0.7 per cent GDP by 2015 under the United Nations' Millennium Development Goals - globally accepted targets that aim to substantially reduce poverty.

"If people think that's a lot of money - what, 99.3 (per cent) is not enough for you all, does that not do it? It's tragic," Sir Bob said.

But, but, but.... What about the title of International Ambassador For Brisbane, Bob?

"It's an honorific, it's an honorary thing, I'm not literally going to go: 'and while I'm here, did you know I'm ambassador of Brisbane?' You know, shut up."

Meanwhile, John Howard is quietly insisting that GOD fully supports Coalition policies. A million dead Iraqis say otherwise.

Burn in Hell, you bastard.

Implosion Week Day One: Malcolm In The Middle

Today's Daily Telegraph front page story:

Civil warfare threatens Liberals

JOHN Howard is battling to contain a Coalition civil war as tense MPs lash out at campaign tactics - and their own colleagues.

As Treasurer Peter Costello today refused to be drawn on his plans to make a bid for the Liberal Party leadership - win or lose this election - several ministers criticised "silly mistakes" made by senior figures, including Health Minister Tony Abbott.

High-profile Environment Minister Malcolm Turnbull has also been singled out, amid concerns he privately has written off the Government's prospects.

Nationals maverick Barnaby Joyce has slammed the Government's campaign as dull, labelling it "dry and complicated", a description backed by some of his colleagues yesterday...

Coalition MPs are frustrated at the performance of senior figures, who they believe are undermining their campaign efforts.

That has spilled over into criticism of senior ministers, including Mr Turnbull, who is battling to retain his marginal seat of Wentworth in Sydney's Eastern Suburbs.

Reports have surfaced of Mr Turnbull being referred to senior Liberal figures following suggestions that he has criticised the Government's campaign.

"Complete and utter rubbish," Mr Turnbull's spokesman told The Daily Telegraph.

But the spate of attacks on Mr Turnbull suggest some in the Coalition are already engaged in post-election manoeuvring for future leadership posts.

"Malcolm's for Malcolm," one of his Cabinet colleagues said.

Another minister summed up a widespread view of Mr Turnbull: "His ambition exceeds the amount of support he's got, by a long way."

Turnbull denies the rumours:

"Those criticisms, so called, are attributed to anonymous sources. You know when journalists attribute things to anonymous sources they are really just relaying gossip," Mr Turnbull told ABC radio on Monday.

Hmmn, but wasn't it Turnbull who recently leaked a story about how he urged Howard to sign Kyoto? And suddenly today, guess what? NSW opposition energy spokesman Peter Debnam says Australia should have signed Kyoto long ago. Who's got yer back, Mal? Pencil Pete in for a Shadow Cabinet post, mate.

Implosion Week Day One: Glenn Milne Knifes Abbott

Glenn Milne hits the turps again:

Dear Tony,

I love you mate, you are my bestest friend in the whole world (hic!). But when we lose on Shaturday it will be all your bloody fault.

It's not your fault, of course (gulp!). You are a man of honeshty and convikshun. Thash why I love you.

But you are just so bad at (hic) lying, mate. You are just too frikkin' honest. Too raw. Too effing soft, really. Like a bloody Jeshuit priest - HA HA HA!

I know, I know! It's all Howard's fault, really. He's been flailing around desperately, changing his (hic!) Health policies under your nose, making you look like a fool. And he should have given you Defensh, not Health. I mean, just look at that prishy little fart, Brendan Nelson. What a wanker.

But did you really have to lose it on camera, mate - on mike, on air? There's always a bottle of Pimms in my desk if you need to blow off some shteam! Ma-a-a-ate...!

I will mish your (hic!) deep religioush and shpiritual convicshuns, mate. I will mish the way your fashe looks sho shteely and determined, even when you are shlagging off dying ashbeshtosh victims. I wish I could pull off that sort of fake shinsherity. I wish I was out there on the hustings like you, day after day, a one-man Praetorian Guard, copping all the shit, just to shave the PM's sorry arse...(sob!)

Shorry, mate. Shometimesh it all gets too much. I mean, you know. Whash it all about eh? Here we are, you and me, after all these yearsh, shtill searching for these higher truths. Endleshly compromishing (gulp!). Par for the course (hic!). Funny game, innit? (burp!)

Wazzat? Oh... Margie wants you back home now, Tony. She's calling you. Go to her. Go to her, mate. I'll be alright.

You go to her... You're a fucking legend, mate. A martyr. A trashendent fucking Jeshuit martyr! Shailing into the shunshet...

[passes out, head on the SUBMIT button]