9 May 2007

Endgame For Bush = Endgame For Dick Cheney's Oil Law

My, my, my.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
How we gonna make it work?
What's it gonna take to do it?
- Armand Van Helden
Things is bad. Things is real bad. Things is so bad that the all-conquering Bush-Rove GOP machine, which was supposed to guarantee permanent GOP rule of the USA for-ev-uh, is falling apart at the seams!
Moderate Republicans gave President Bush a blunt warning on his Iraq policy at a private White House meeting this week, telling the president that conditions needed to improve markedly by fall or more Republicans would desert him on the war...

Participants in the Tuesday meeting between Mr. Bush, senior administration officials and 11 members of a moderate bloc of House Republicans said the lawmakers were unusually candid with the president, telling him that public support for the war was crumbling in their swing districts.

One told Mr. Bush that voters back home favored a withdrawal even if it meant the war was judged a loss. Representative Tom Davis told Mr. Bush that the president’s approval rating was at 5 percent in one section of his northern Virginia district.
"Hey! I'm Mister Five Percent! Now watch this drive..."
Lawmakers said Mr. Bush made no commitments, but seemed grateful for their support and said a precipitous withdrawal from Iraq could cause the sort of chaos that occurred in Southeast Asia after Americans left Vietnam...[ehh???]

“The president encouraged the members to give unvarnished opinions and views,” said Dana Perino, a White House spokeswoman. She also noted a “persistent push” by the administration in recent days to put new pressure on the Iraqi government via a secure video conference by Mr. Bush with Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki and the surprise visit to Iraq by Vice President Dick Cheney.
So the Bush administration is popping rivets and set to implode. And now it's down to The Big Dick to save the day!

The (ahem!) "sovereign" Iraqi government, which the Bush Boyz so cleverly put together without every giving them any real power, is also falling apart at the seams, and has been for quite some time now. Bush's last-ditch "surge" is only confirming everything the critics said it would. And those damn %$&*ing Iraqi cabinet ministers-in-exile STILL haven't signed the damn Oil Law! Time for the Big Dick to make a personal visit to his "friend", PM Nouri Al-Maliki in Baghdad, and bang some heads:
"Now listen, you muthafuckers," said Cheney. "You want us out of your country, you sign our damn fucking Oil Law! And if you don't have it signed within two weeks, I will personally trash the fucking lot of you, bring in a new Allawi government, and then hunt down every last one of you and fuck you in the ass with a fucking chainsaw till your fucking stomachs comes out of your fucking mouths!"
Actually, no, that's not quite what he said. Al Jazeera explains it a bit more literally:
He met Nuri al-Maliki, the prime minister, to discuss security issues and "challenges we are facing in our own political process".

He also urged parliament to abandon plans for a two-month summer vacation, saying with important issues pending, "any undue delay would be difficult to explain".

Cheney said Iraqi leaders felt sectarian violence was "down fairly dramatically" [I told you he was certifiably nuts] even though car bombings and suicide attacks still claim a heavy toll.

"I think everybody recognises there still are serious security problems, security threats, no question about it", adding that "we've got a long way to go".

"I emphasised the importance of making progress on the issues before us, not only the security issues but also on the political issues [read: Oil Law] that are pending before the Iraqi government," he said.

"I do believe that there is a greater sense of urgency now than I'd seen previously."
Bravo for Crazy Dick having the balls to fly into Baghdad at this point in time (he really is psycho, isn't he?). Now I'm curious to see whether he will be able to make it out of there alive. An explosion "shook windows" at the US embassy where he was speaking, as hundreds of angry Iraqis gathered on the streets outside to protest his visit.

Will Big Dick make it out of the Green Zone alive? Will al-Maliki get the Oil Law signed, or flee to Iran? Will George Bush realise what an unprecedented fuck-up his Presidency has become, and start blaming everyone else for his problems? Stay tooned...